Updated: Jul 1, 2019
My goodness what a week it has been! I am behind on posts!!! To tell you what a week it has been, would be like a book reading from “The life of Whitney”.
Firstly, and the most exciting of things, I started my part time (soon to be full time (hopefully!!!)) job! I am back at Waffle House! I never thought I would be back. It was always a started job in my mind. Even though I loved that job, and my other “starter” jobs, that’s what they were. They weren’t careers. They were training me for life. Hopefully a life pursuing my dreams, but training me for life never the less. But I am back, because I am choosing happiness over money. Over success. Over obligation. Over failure. I HAD SO MUCH FUN! I loved working this weekend! I enjoyed seeing the customers and being back in the swing of things. I loved being on me feet and moving around. I love how empowered it made me feel. I have been so worried about my weight and if it would hold me back. I’m not going to lie, it was hard and by 2 pm when my shift ended. I felt like my feet had fallen off and run for the hills, but I have to say, feeling my Fitbit buzz during my shift because I had already hit my daily goal, made the pain worth it.
The smiles I got when greeting guests made it worth it. My success where I thought I would fail, MADE IT WORTH IT! I keep saying it, and I’m never going to stop saying it. GET OUT OF YOUR OWN DAMN WAY! Stop telling yourself you can’t! Stop waiting. Stop being scared! Trust me, I know what it is to feel like a failure. I know what it is to be uncertain about the future. I know what it is to put myself down, and to tell myself I can’t. I KNOW WHAT THAT IS! Because even I have my moments.
Sunday, I went to get tools and ingredients so that I could bake and practice decorating. I made, what I thought based off of the tutorials I’ve watched, the perfect Italian Meringue Buttercream frosting. It didn’t break, didn’t curdle, had perfect volume and I didn’t burn myself of the sugar. I felt like I was on top of the world, because on my first try, I had done it perfectly. Until I tasted it. The butter I had used had absorbed some of the smells and flavors in our fridge. The frosting tasted like I had thrown half a head of garlic in it. It tasted terrible. Here I am. Trying to pursue my passion in baking, and I can’t even make a frosting. I felt terrible. I felt defeated. I called my mom and I cried into the phone about how I can’t do anything right. Through my tears I told her I knew I was being irrational and it would take practice and that I needed to try again, even though my brain was telling my heart to give up.
So last night, after hubby went to sleep, I went down to our kitchen and I made a simple American buttercream.
Did i perfect it? No, but at least it didn’t taste like iced garlic! It is a work in progress. I figured out a way to fix the problem and do better the next time. If something is wrong with the next batch, i will fix and keep trying until i have the perfect buttercream. If all else fails, at least Publix now sells theirs by the pound!